I Love (The Idea Of) You

Yes, it was love but,
No, it wasn't unconditional

I'm not even demanding for an apology
Jumping into conclusion at the first glance
Even in messing up I am a prodigy
You could never plan romance

Keeping your name on top of the shelf
Thinking holding back is better than the rage
What you've been telling me or telling yourself
Is it setting myself free or opening your own cage?

Not as furious as the last time
Only unchecked everything from the top lists
Another self proclaim but it was sublime
Did nothing but settling with my own fists

I've sat countless nights in front of the door
Wondering if the cold would take my soul
What I've been really wishing down to my core
Seeing you knocking and making me whole

You never loved
You never have
Not for what I am or who I am
You just love the idea of me.