This is simply a proof that no matter what I do, it never matters. No matter if I put 0%, 50% or even 100% in my efforts that it'll never work they way I want. To simplify it: I will never be loved(1), at least, in a romantic way. I told myself,"Don't lose her" and surprise surprise: I lost her. This time, BIG TIME. Well, maybe now I just have to wait for some girl to be obsessed by me, to love me the way I am, want to do work by herself, just like I am to her. Yeah, I'm using the present tense. Big news. At least when I wrote this. But it seems unlikely, back to point (1). "You lost pieces of yourself everytime you give yourself to someone else." and I guess that what happened to me. I completely lost myself and to build from the scratch? Back to the square one? It's one hell of a task, I'm telling you. I guess in this one starting really is harder than maintaining. She's always asking to keep my positive thinking in check so here it is. That post above is a reminder for you, you useless stupid lazy fucking piece of shit. This is your past speaking, Never fall in love too hard ever again. Never put your 100% into everyone ever again.
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