I See You Tonight

I saw you tonight
walked along the city street on the sidewalks
you brought your umbrella but you wet yourself
under the pouring rain, under the city lamp
fading out while shining your tears

you wear your headphones but you set it loudspeaker
you bring your umbrella but you sink yourself

there was a minute,
I saw you blushed, you smiled
all red, just like a cherry blossom
but you cried . . . .

it's hard to guess, but I'm completely sure it's a complicated feeling
about the boys and girls nowadays
not exactly in the right place
like a virgin, who ran out of cigarettes

Tanpa Sila

mereka seenaknya memanjat atap gedung kami
memata-matai kami yang sedang menuntut ilmu
menutup jalan dengan keinginan membalas dendam
menghalangi jalur dengan kata-kata kotor mereka

mata mereka dibutakan oleh kemilauan berlian
hanya melihat kenyataan melalui sebuah lensa
menyebarkan berita palsu untuk menjelekkan nama kami
membuat opini sendiri untuk mengisi perut mereka

mereka tidak boleh dan tidak akan merebut tanah kami, harga diri kami
kami bukan yang memulainya, namun kami yang akan mengakhirinya

mereka mengabaikan perintah Tuhan untuk saling mengasihi
menunjukkan bahwa mereka manusia yang biadab, bukan beradab
memecah-belahkan kalimat Bhineka Tunggal Ika
memecahkan masalah dengan kepalan tangan, bukan musyawarah
membuat keadilan mereka sendiri di bawah bayang-bayang seseorang

mereka tidak mengamalkan kelima dasar negara Indonesia

Ayah

mungkin hal-hal berikut aneh bagi sebagian orang
atau saja semua ini dialami atau tidak dialami orang lain
aku tak perlu simpati ataupun empati
hanya saja aku tak tahu harus kemana lagi harus dilampiaskan

ini kisah tentang seorang ayah....

ketika ayah kalian mengajarkan untuk bersabar,
beliau menunjukkan bahwa kata-kata kasar adalah santapan sehari-hari

ketika ayah kalian mengajarkan untuk berprasangka baik,
beliau menunjukkan bahwa kita harus menuduh sebelum bertanya

ketika ayah kalian mengajarkan untuk tersenyum,
apa yang membuat senyum beliau tertahan setiap hari?

ketika ayah kalian memanjakan kalian hingga sekarang,
apakah memang pantas, atau salah bila yang kuterima adalah ancaman pukulan?

ketika ayah kalian tertawa bersama kalian,
bentakan-bentakan yang beliau lancarkan ke kedua telinga ini sudah kebal

ketika ayah kalian berkata "jangan pernah menjadi egois!",
beliau tak pernah berkata demikian, bahkan terwariskan dalam darah ini

ketika ayah kalian menyanyikan lagu untuk kalian,
ketika ayah kalian tertawa bersama kalian,
aku dan beliau beradu teriak dan bentakan

sekarang aku tahu darimana sebagian sifat gelapku tercipta

terima kasih, ayah.

Maybe Tomorrow

hold it against us, don't have to be so rush
no matter how long, no matter how hard you try
chances will come, chances won't avoid us
don't keep your head down, I'll come running to take you fly

every sleep is a medicine
every wake up is a cure from yesterday
every sunshine leads your day
and every moonlight leads your night

maybe tomorrow life's better
maybe tomorrow the world may smile with you
maybe tomorrow your sorrow would be gone
maybe tomorrow everything fades away

no need to regret, no need to be disappointed, no need to cry.
There's Always Tomorrow

The Taste Of Water

a lonely soul has its own roof

block the way of cigarette smoke

when the television feels not much friendly

but you rush and have it on the line

does it really worth it?
why couldn't we make it?
too hard to be admit
a target to be hit

so many compliment, you said
can't stand it anymore, you said
neither do I

but I try to fix everything in the right place
without seeing your face, at all

they found and created a wonderful six sided box
which accompanying us through boring times
now I can barely feel the taste of water
even until we could blow the wind again later

kata; maaf.

maaf itu bukannya sesuatu yang dikatakan ketika seseorang menyesali perbuatannya?

dan menyesal itu,

bukannya berarti tidak akan melakukannya lagi untuk kedua kali, ketiga kali, dan seterusnya?

bila mereka meminta maaf,
dan melakukannya lagi di kemudian hari,

bukankah itu bukan suatu permintaan maaf?

maaf, aku akan melakukannya lagi.

Chapter III -Another Yard-

Chapter III -Another Yard-

-------25 July, 2012. today Carlo and some others are being graduated. they go to the different schools but they always assemble in the same place, this field. I got good pictures today, from they joy and happy faces. Just like a daily habit, after I finished my work, we play soccer. I don't know how, but I'm at my best at taking sport photos. Hope someday I'm good at taking photos of everything. The next day, after playing soccer, we eat, talk and laugh at Tagliatelle Bella. Of course, I'm the one who cook the whole meals. "Attention, everyone! I wanna say something for you guys. First of all I just want to thank to you guys to lead my best days in Venice, in Italy. I can never enjoy my days here if Carlo didn't invite me to the field, so thanks to you guys. It was very felicitating 3 months here. I got a very meaningful lesson about friendship nd also good pictures too." "What is it? it just sounds like a farewell, chie." "Yep Carlo, that's what I'm trying to say. I'm gonna take another yard across the sea to continue my trip."
-------Saturday, I arrived at the airport at 9.00 am I have my flight at 10.00. everybody I have in Italy is there. Alfonso with his employees and Carlo with the others. "So where are you going, chie?" Carlo asks. "well, France. I always wanted to go there and finally it comes true today." "Well, good luck then." "Thanks. Oh by the way, this is your shirt, Carlo. thanks for let me borrow it." "Ah it's not a big problem, even better, you can have it." "Really?" "Yeah, we got hundreds of it here. Take it as a gift from us here." "Well thank you, Carlo. I don't know how to show my thanks to you. And Alfonso, should I give my apron back to you?" "Hahaha. Not necessary, piccoli. You are one of the best chef I ever had." "Oh Richie, here's the menu I have copied for you. In case you forgot how to make those dishes." "Thanks, Elario, Alfonso, Tagliatelle Bella. Well I should be going and you guys have to go back to your routines, guys." As I walk along the path to the departure lounge, they shout "BYE CHIEEE, BUONA VORTUNA E DIO VI BENEDICA!!!" 'good luck and god bless' I smile brightly and gave them a waving hand. I finally got in to my plane at 10.00 the memories in Venice, even if it's not too long, spinning around my head and accompany me to sleep. Bye, Venice.
-------As soon as I arrive at Charlie de Gaulle airport in Paris, I got a taxi and go to the tower of love, Eiffel Tower. I came out from the taxi, pay it, told the driver to stay awhile and breath heavily in front of the Eiffel Tower. I told the taxi driver to take a picture of me. I know this day will come. Kevin was the one who made me believe. But a thing that saddening is, there's no Kevin in my picture here. Evian, the taxi driver told me about the tower and everything he knows until I arrive at my lodge. On the way to the lodge what I see is romance. Yes, here I am, in the city where break ups rarely found, the city where parents rather give their kids money for dating than for their fun, the city of romance, the city of love, Paris. Just like Venice, here in Paris is absolutely less pollution than in Jakarta. They prefer travel around with bikes, subway trains, or electric-powered-vehicles. I stay at a very homie lodging. It feels just like my own house. it's not too big, actually. Just have 2 floors and 10 rooms.
-------28 July 2012, I wake up this morning and going to search for a job. Just after take a bath, I open the door and at the same time what I see across my room is a pretty girl who instantly look away and go through the door. I wonder why she did that and I realize I stared at her for hours, err... maybe not that long, just a phrase. But whatever, I go out from the lodge and search for a job. it's a tough decision for jobs here. and one thing is, I don't wanna be a salary man! this is a hard day to search a job, and I didn't realize it's 7.00 pm already and I haven't got any job. I'm tired. I bought a glass of cappuccino and sit on a chair on the bridge near the lodge, then I lit a cigarette and turn on my camera. the bridge is beautiful. The fountain behind the bridge completing the scenery. What I see around the bridge is couples, no matter how old they are, what profession they are, what nationality they are. "Garcon, vous avez un match?" "Wha? oh oui, ici." suddenly a 50's man come to me and ask for a match. Luckily, I learned France and Germany language in high school. so at least I can communicate easier in those countries. "Vous n'etes pas d'ici, toi?" "Non, Je suis Indonesien." "Ah I see. your France not really bad. How could you learn?" "Well, I learned France and Germany at the high school." "Je suis Norman, J'ai 56 ans." as I expected, he is 50's lol. "Je suis Richie, J'ai 19 ans. Nice to know you Norman." "19?! what are you doing here in France?" I told him the story even in Venice. "Hmm I see. so now you're looking for a job? Err maybe I can get you a job, if you want." "Really? Where?" "I see you with your camera, I'm a photographer too. Would you like to be my assistant? Well the salary is not too much maybe. I sell my photos for the magazines here. You could learn some from me too." "C'est genial, Norman! Of course I accept it!" "That's the spirit I want from a youngster like you, garcon. Now let me see what you got."
-------I show him my photos from the airport and Venice, he's humming and shakes his head sometimes when he sees the pictures. "Not bad, Richie. You have some guts. How long have you been in this photography thing?" "From high school, but not too often. Maybe from college." "Oh I see. but you know? Don't be too proud. Here in France, even some junior highs-choolers can do better than that." I started to be provoked but I try to hold it. "Now could you take the photo of the fountain? with macro, focus on the fountain, make it all blur." "But it's impossible, Norman. Too big to be focused." "That's why I told you Junior highschool children are better than you." He started to make me mad. "Fine, Norman. I'll try." I try my best shot, it's so hard to do it and it takes 5 minutes and I show it to Norman. "Here, Norman. take a look." "What is it? The trees are still there, they don't wanna be seen, you know." I try it again for many times. and he keeps harassing my pictures. "Still not get better, GARCON." I'm pissed off. "Well just show me if you can do it better, vieillard!" "I knew you'll say that, garcon." Just in seconds, Norman set the camera, search-and-found the perfect angle, quickly set the zoom and the focus and *click*. Just like that. My mouth is sealed. I am fascinated at the moment. But I still deny it. "Only just you do it quicker and just one shot doesn't mean the result is better than mine, let me see it!" When I get closer to him, he point his camera and show me. "Here, young man. Take a look." I continue my disbelief. The angle, the colour set, the focus, all in the picture..... it's amazing! more than that, it's perfect! "I give up, Norman." "hahaha. Give up from what? Now pack your things and go home. we'll start from the day after tomorrow."
-------I still don't believe what happened in front of my eyes. It seems impossible. But whatever, I'm lucky to learn something from him. What peeves me is he's such a bastard. I hope I can stand it during with him. So I'm walking back to the lodge myself. It takes about 30 minutes. I packed my camera and put it in the room and then smoke on the veranda of the lodge. "You look upset." I'm shocked, someone greets me with a smooth sound. A girl's sound and you won't believe me, it's the girl across my room. "Wha? You shocked me!" "Sorry, just trying to be friendly, I guess." "Apology accepted. What are you doing? Not going to sleep? It's late already." "Nah. Can't sleep. Why don't you?" "Just looking for fresh air." "Fresh air? You're smoking dude, hahaha." "Haha yeah, just daydreaming on the night, I guess." "Trixie." She introduce herself and we shake hands. "Richie." "Wooo, rich people. Scaaary." "Naah, don't miscalled it." "Just kidding, pal. So, what upsets you?" "A new term of study, you can say." "You're a student?" "Nope, photography things." "Nicee. you have to show me some pictures someday." "Yeah I will. Hey can you play guitar?" "Yep, why?" "Hold on a second." She takes her guitar from her room and told me to play. "Here, Richie. Sing me a song." Do you know The Script?" "Are you kidding me? I love it!" "Yeah, they're the best!" So, we sing The Man Who Can't Be Moved by The Script together. "You're the man who can't be moved, aren't you?" "Haha, there was a time I was called like that. Let's just sing one song and go to sleep and I'll tell you later, kay? choose a song, Trixie!" "To Be With You by Mr Big, Richie." Just like that, after we sing the last part "Just to be the next to be with you...." she kissed me, and all the memories I had with Nova, are recalled.

Two Roses

I was already remember the date
but after all the exam, it's going late
the plan is spinning around in my head
it's just waiting for all of the set

I put two roses in front off your door
in case, you'll coming back for more
luckily it wasn't a long journey
and I was accompanied by lonely

the number means the date we were born
I put an ice cream because it's what you love instead of corn
my heart is half yours, I pictured it with two-coloured heart
I hope I will see you in the future, when we will not be apart

Chapter II -What Friendship Is-

Chapter II -What Friendship Is-

-------It's 7.00 pm in Venice here, thank god it was a good flight. First thing to do: search for a job! so much job list offered but what will I take? Cooking. Just had cooking learning on junior high school I think quite enough. At least I learned to turn on the oven and the stove, turn it off back, flip the sunny side eyes, frying oil, and stuff like that. I am interested by a cafe named 'Tagliatelle Bella' which means 'lovely noodles' and as I thought it's special dishes are pasta and noodles ((you don't say)). It's a quite nice small cafe on the side of the road. then, I talk to the manager and he's kind. He's 40, his name is Alfonso, he speaks english, spanish, and greece. Besides italian, of course. Before do the job, he instructs one of the employee to teach me how to cook the dishes and to show how understanding Alfonso is, he gives me a month to learn. Even more, if it's not enough. It's not that easy to turn flours into everything on the menu lists. But what I can say is cooking is fun... although it's not as fun as playing guitar or take some pictures. There are about 6 employees who are working for Alfonso, and the one who teaches me is Elario. He is muscular, tall, and a happy man, I can say. I wonder how will I get those muscles just by spinning those doughs over my head.
-------2 weeks already past and I already cook my own spaghetties for lunches and meals. Why do I have to do job when my parents are rich and they send me bunch of money on every first dates of months? Well, I have to feel hardworks before success. on Thursday and Sunday I have my days off unless I want to do more practice with Elario. One day -Thursday- I have my day off and walk around Venice. It's afternoon and it's less polution, than I had in Jakarta. they rarely use gasoline cars. They use scooters, electric vehicle, or walking around. I came to a soccer field and watch from outside cage. Some high-schoolers play soccer. someone on the bench come to me and ask me,"Se vuoi giocare?" then I stammered and then he understands,"Tourist, yeah?" "Yes." "Want to come to join us?" "But... I have no equipments to wear." "Relax, we have some you can wear. what can I call you?" "Call me Richie." "You can call me Carlo." Then he lets me come in and lend shoes, socks, and my favorite italian team shirt, AC Milan! After that, he shouts to his friends and speaks italian to them. I don't know what a single thing he talks about but I believe he's introducing me to the others and luckily they accept me very well. "Do you play soccer?" "Yeah, luckily it's my favorite sports." "Well then, where do you usually play?" "Center midfielder would be nice."
-------So, I play with them. Suddenly I remember when I used to be very short and have brown skin, like Indonesian people in general. Now I'm at average of height and not that 'black'. I can clearly remember when my friends called me 'short' or 'black' or something like that. Very very not suitable to me, that I'm bad-tempered. But as the time goes on I can manage my own anger. Back to the field, we enjoy our play and finished it when the sun goes down. "You have some skills, don't you?" "Not that great but at least I have the basics." "Hey, will you play again tomorrow?" "I've got something to do, sorry. but I think I can do it on Sunday." "Okay then, Sunday it is. Don't force it if you don't want or can't." "It's nice to play with you guys. see y'all on Sunday" "A piu tardi, Richie!" "sorry?" "it means see you late" "Ooh hahaha okay I got it." So that's it, I go back to the lodging and have an afternoon pray. it was an exhausted day.
-------Sunday, 29 April 2012. I'm in a good mood today. Why? I'm almost done my training with Elario and nearly mastering the menu. Beside that, I'm gonna play soccer again with Carlo and the others. 3.00 pm and I go to the field after preparing all the equipments. We play 'til 5.30 pm. from now on in Venice play with Carlo is my week routine. not long as I step aside the bench at the park and say bye, I heard a loud sound and when I look back Carlo is in the air, hit by a car and it's a hit-run. What I see at the moment is the visualization of Kevin. "CARLOOO!" I screamed and quickly approach him, bring him in to a taxi and take him to the nearest hospital. And then, I go home when his friends attend. I don't wanna hear or see the worst thing that could happen.
-------Monday, 14 May 2012. I mastered all in the menu already just in three weeks and Alfonso was so happy and amazed when I showed him on Monday, a day after Carlo had an accident. Good thing that the visitors love my cooking and some of them are Tagliatelle Bella's regulars. "Formaggi a pasta and a cup of cappucino in table 10, Richie!" "Si, Elario." On the table 10 is one of some students that come here after school. This cafe is visited by student almost everyday. It's homie and warm, I don't know how to describe how comfortable Tagliatelle Bella is. Alfonso is a genius man. Okay, back to the story, where were we? Oh yeah, I make and deliver the pasta and cappucino. "Questo l'ordine, signore." "It's only 2 weeks and you're Italiano is getting better, Richie." "Carlo?! how did you get here???" "Dumb, who doesn't know about Tagliatelle Bella?" "I mean how do you know I work here?" "With a simple idea and a little research. By the way, why didn't you look me recovering?" "Elario! give me a break today! I owe you one!" and that's it, I'm very happy to see him alive and in a good shape. I tell him about Kevin and everything we did together.
-------What I did in Italia is just like that. Work hard and play hard. I spend my days by doing some cafe things, eat there when I have my days off and also some photograph experiment things in the cafe, playing soccer with my friends and also take a pictures of them. something I just realize on the team is first, why don't I call them 'Italian' friends? Because they're not all Italian. There were Brazilian, Chinese, Spanish and also African. Second, they're not a rich people and they're very friendly. Third, when I play with them without Carlo, they told me he's the one who gathered all of them. With the same way he did to me. Tiago said Carlo was juggling a ball himself on this field. This field used to be very dirty and was untreated, so nobody used it. When Tiago look at him, he stopped juggling, smiled, and asked me if he wanna play with him. "Until now, we have gathered together for 3 years. Thanks to you Chie, we still have Carlo." Tiago said. A lesson I got here, in Venice, is whoever you are, we are friends, we are in the same world, we are brothers. There's no way we can doubt the fact we are in the very same fuckin' degree.

Chapter I -Trip To Nowhere-

A World Through Lens

Chapter I -Trip To Nowhere-

-------"It will costs Rp 15.000,00 kid." "well, thanks sir," I bought the last ticket to Venice, luckily. Rp 15.000,00? oh that's not the cost, fool. that's the cost of an ice cream I bought for my flight. who am I, you said? whoops, sorry. Too excited for the trip, tough. you can call me Richie, I was born in Jakarta, 7th July 1992. and yes, I'm an Indonesian. a photographer. a poet. a musician. a writer. I noted now is 2nd March 2011, made me 19 years old this year. My parents are rich, don't know was it the reason they named me 'Rich'. My high school? It passed really well but in the other way, it sucks. What am I doing in this airport with this cup of ice cream? Well, that question will just bring us to the past 2 years before, in this very day. where all the story began.
-------2 March, 2009. I was just 9th grader. I was going to had the last vacation with my class. I had this girl in my class, Nova. She didn't really at my attention at first but in that time she was the one I won't let go forever. She was so beautiful on that day. at night, when everybody were already asleep, I couldn't even close my eyes so I just played my guitar when someone got near me, and it's Nova! "Nov! weren't you sleeping?" "Nope, I can't sleep either. So I just listen to you all night, hehe." god, she's so sweet when she laugh. "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing - Aerosmith, isn't it?" "yep, could you sing?" we sang all song we know that night, till 2 in the morning.... "311 - Love Song, yeah?" when I sang 'I will always love you' she kissed me on the lips and said 'I love you, Chie' and from that day we were dating. We were strong. We were invincible. we were... in love.
-------Classic love story, eh? we just did just like another lovers do and to be honest, that was the second time I had girlfriend. It was lasts for about 15 months. How did we end up? Oh I just don't want to talk about it right now. In short, I ruined my own life since the day she walked away, that's it. Until now we're just fine, still contacting each other like any other friends. But to be honest, I'm deeply in love with her, but I was trapped between two doors, a door to her heart and a door to my dreams. Don't know why, I can never concentrate between girls and hobbies. That's why I lame on women things.
-------*click* "Hey, what's that all about?" "Sorry ma'am, I accidentally pressed my shutter button when I look the expression of you and your son..." "It's a girl." "...I mean your daughter, she's just too cute, just like you." "Nice of you to say so, dear. No problem." I showed the photo of her and her daughter, "wow it's amazing! are you a photographer or something?" "Thanks. Yeah, kind of. But still in learning." We were talking about anything. her name's Sophia. She was divorced about 4 months ago because her husband was cheating. But she was so patient about her condition. I respect that so much. she's gonna go to Bangkok and live there with her aunt. When the plane is about to depart we split to our own destination. Where I am going? didn't I tell you? I'm going nowhere.
-------I'm going to China, Japan, Australia, Brazil and all country I can visit. In fact, all country is in the very same world. In the very same land and in the very same sea. Where we are going, all the things just the same. The people we meet are our own brothers and sisters. So that's why I said I'm going nowhere. initially, my parents were not agree to let me travel myself. but luckily, I have a very damn useful ability 'speaking and seducing'. I have a photo of my little brother, Kevin. Actually he was my cousin, who was an orphan. His family was died on an earthquake. it was the first time I love photograph.
-------May 19, 2010. I was 10th grader. we were on the table, having dinner. just the sound of the forks and spoons hit the plate. "Mom, dad, I wanna quit school and travel the world, by myself!" I told my parents. "What a stupid thing to say, Richie!" "What are you talking about?" "What will you do without knowledge? Destiny won't come to you, you're the one who make your own destiny!" my parents shouted. "What I believe what built destiny is experience." I said. "Say whatever you want, Richie. we'll always support you but not for this one.". I punched the table and went up straight to my bed. an hour later Kevin came to my room and touched my shoulder,"Hey bro, what's up?" "Not funny, Kev." "Haha, I'm not joking at all, bro. Hey you still want to be a photographer, won't you?" "Yeah, just a fuckin dream. I don't want them to know and I'm still on my way to collect the money to buy an SLR" "Whoo, watch your tongue bro. Don't you like the digital camera? it still seems nice to use and the pictures too." "I can't create miracle with a simple thing." He put his hands on my shoulders and told me,"Look, bro. Miracles are not from what you use, but they come from how you do it and when you have it enough, that's miracle. *sigh* You shouldn't say something bad to your parents, bro. Listen, I know that you don't give damn about what they think. well, don't! finish your school with the best score, and we'll travel the world. so, what do you say?" "*smile* you should watch your tongue too, brother." From that night I've been thinking about what Kevin told me.
-------20 Mei, 2010. I was on my way home from school. Kevin and I were on the different school. and oh I forgot to tell you. I was studying photography on my own. with my digital camera or borrowing my friends' camera, whatever camera it was. My friends liked my result so I explore more on photography. Back to the story, I arrived at my house and till 06.00 pm Kevin didn't show up. I called his friends and they said he already leaving school since the bell rang. The clock showed it's 07.00 pm. 07.05 pm, my phone rang. I wore my jeans, shoes, and jacket to the hospital. Kevin was lying there on the bed. With full of colour red. His friends were there, and my parents after me. I talked to him,"Hey buddy, what's going on?" "Heyy bro, just a victim of a hit-run, bro. hehehe." "Don't talk like you're not the victim, damn." "Hey, remember. watch your tongue." 15 minutes later, his friends went waiting outside
-------He talked to me,"Hey, by the way, look on the desk, bro!" I saw the desk and there was a camera bag there,"Wow, splendid! how much it costs?" "Well, about 75% of my savings, tough." "Wow, I wish I could have one after you, bro." "Well, god already answered your wish, bro. It's yours." "What..? How could you...? Man..." "No need to be stammered, fool." "Thanks bro, you're the best man I ever known. I love you, Kevin." "I love you too, Richie. Oh come on, don't be such a gay hahaha. Let me have a rest. oh by the way, could you take a picture of me? and us?" "Oooh you're underestimating my skill, don't you? Let's see what I've got!" And just like that, something unexpected happened. He didn't rest for minutes or hours, or days. He rested forever.

Letter of αlpha & Ωmega

madame, can you hear me?
long time no see, I can't tell how much I miss you
I'm dying but I'm smiling when I wrote these words
because you taught me to smile even thought everything hurts
I'm not saying and try to write 'cause it will slurred

I'm sure from now on you're walking travel the heaven
take my hello to the moon where you now are hidden
wait for me from the day that greet has been sent
keep one of the brightest star for me until we meet again

back to the day that you used to be my second parent
the days that I thanked god it was happened
you had two keys of success, smile and patient
something I never achieved since I was seven

you're the one who told me when minus was doubled would get plus
you're the one who put alphabetical orders to my numbers
you're the one who piad my way home from the streets
you're the one who threw away my kid and introduced the teenager kits

well, our last conversation wasn't that nice
I have too much stories to tell but i know you're out of goodbyes
I really wish you could read this from up above
my last will for you is to read this letter by prayer covered by love

we will smile together again, Mrs Lina. in the very same place. we love you and miss you so much, everytime we remember your face and recall your name. thanks for leading our 3 years junior high school.

we will smile together again. I know we will.

Rain

why does the rain have to stopped?
it washed away main pain and throw away my vain
leaves some marks and bubbles on the street
some wear a raincoat, some drive through the falling

a plastic bag which disappears by little
a roaring thunder up above the sky
a black cloud that separated
a child's cry in the middle of the night

how does it feel?
to be betrayed, twice
don't even know that I'm the one who lived
and covered behind the lies
not important, there was a lie named covenant

what can I do when I miss you?
a box that should be burned but it's invincible
it's a time capsule and my only drug
all I need is time, but you won't spare a dime
you showed me the way but then you left me under the rain

Bravo March!

it's March, let's march!

hop! hop! hop! hop!
hop! hop! hop! hop!
hop! hop! hop! hop!
hop! hop! hop! hop!

I should keep it straightened the line
you should see what will come from left to right
we should keep each other fingers' tied
they should be careful of what they're going to face

hop! hop! hop! hop!
hop! hop! hop! hop!

well done, soldiers!
you have fullfilled your mission
destroyed the enemy with no mercy
until there's no one left to carry

consider it done, general!
but was it right for us to did a genocidal?
their descendants up above won't exist
their escape would do a suicidal

life isn't fair, soldier
we must stand with our own feet
we have our own sheet
this world where we live is a huge jungle

eat, or you will be eaten.

Twenty

I watch the digital clock. it shows 20:10. two pairs of number that goes together well.

the citizens try to break my argue
I got no options left but moving on
when the rules are made to be broken
gave us so much, too much to be taken

all I want is a holiday and a holy-night
I always wanted to be everything I want to be
I always wanted to do everything I want to do
but life happens

it's just a fantasy that won't might right
I try to end it before it all went wrong
I thought twenty draws everything that pretty
but the previous one is so much worthy

they can call me the explainers, tough
I could tell them all day if I want to
the perfect triangle that made has its branch
the worst timing when I'm ready to stand up, it has been ruined up

Pernyataan Kaum Adam

beberapa digit angka pasti dianggap penting dewasa ini
hanya demi ikatan yang fana dan bersifat sementara
terkadang kami menangis, terkadang kami saling menenangkan
pada akhirnya akan tercipta cinta yang tak tersisa

lucunya, aku pun terjebak dalam dunia itu
menyakiti kamu hawa tanpa memikirkan perasaan mereka
demi kepuasan sendiri dan diam tanpa kata melihat mereka menangis
menghapuskan senyum mereka dan menggalaukan hari mereka

beberapa pertanyaan sangat sekali ingin kulontarkan
kepada lelaki yang tak pernah puas dengan kata "satu-satunya"
mengapa pria selalu terlambat menyadari semua?
mengapa wanita selalu bersabar menghadapi semua?

sebenarnya, pada dasarnya semua perempuan itu sama
dan sebenarnya aku beruntung mengenal mereka yang setia
mereka memberikan sayang yang tulus, bahkan terlalu besar
yak mempedulikan orang lain, bahkan dirinya sendiri demi orang yang dicintainya

namun kusia-siakan itu semua.
kubuang harapan dan masa depan mereka
kukhianati kasih yang terlanjur mereka taruh padaku
dan bodohnya pria pengecut ini tidak pernah mengaku

Yang Tak Tergantikan

hal yang simpel mungkin, namun tak tergantikan
mampu melepaskan semua rantai yang mengikat kita
bisa membebaskan dari waktu yang mengekang, bahkan
menjabarkan menjadi kalimat yang berarti hanya dari satu kata

jarak bukanlah halangan, kau mungkin tahu mengapa
karena justru ketika kita bertemu lagi, rasa sayang akan bertambah besar
memantaumu setiap hari, walau hanya lewat udara hampa
hanya makin menyakiti diri sendiri, bukanlah sesuatu yang pintar

hari itu aku kabur dari hal yang disebut pendidikan
aku pikir biarlah, satu hari belum tentu mengubah masa depan
di tempat itu langkahku terseok-seok dalam arti yang sebenarnya
terbebani ingatan tentangmu dengan segudang tanda tanya

There's No Valentine

there's no valentine

take some pieces of me and bury it away
take a half of my heart thrash it all away
take back your letters and burn it down
don't look back even I shout your name all over the town

there's no valentine

I know it's no use but I'm still drinking a bottle of wine
you pretend that you're care and I know I'll be fine
I broke my spine, I crossed the line
and I doubt now I can see no more sunshine

there's no valentine

how jerk I am shows how jerk you are
is it so easy to have me being replaced?
is it so fair to had all of this moments?
do you feel it? can you feel it?

There's No Valentine

Roda Gigi

jika takdir adalah roda gigi,

maka kita adalah pasir hancur di sela-selanya.
kita tak berdaya.
kita hanya menginginkan kekuatan.
jika aku tak bisa melindungi mereka walaupun telah mengulurkan tangan,
aku menginginkan pedang untuk kugenggam di ujung sana.
kekuatan untuk menghancurkan takdir, untuk menghancurkan roda gigi itu.
pastilah mirip dengan pedang yang diayunkan.
dunia berputar.
jika takdir adalah roda gigi,
kita adalah alasan untuk memutarnya.
aku percaya kita sempurna dan maju.

Kembali

hidup takkan berhenti
selama Dia tak yang mengambilmu, PASTI
matamu takkan selamanya terlelap disini
karena sinar mentari menggodamu untuk peduli

sekali, dua kali.. terus berkali-kali
melodi merdu itu kan berbunyi
memaksamu untuk keluar dari rasa ingin sembunyi
menarikmu bersama yang lain untuk menari

waktu kan membawamu kembali
kembali ke peraduan yang takkan sunyi
membuatmu merasakan mimpi-mimpi
yang takkan pernah dapat terganti

kenyataan yang kau hadapi
takkan mampu mengalahkan mimpi ini
dan mendendangkan materi filosofi
takkan pernah berakhir

terima saja takdir ini
hidupmu bukan untuk hari ini
kau masih harus berjuang dengan nafas yang kaumiliki
hingga desah itu tak terdengar lagi

Masa Lalu Yang Tertunda

hanya demi benda yang berkilau kita berkorban dengan sungguh-sungguh
mencoba menggetarkan angan yang tergantung setinggi langit
melakukan rutinitas yang monoton setiap hari layaknya seorang buruh
keringat bercampur darah ini sudah tak lagi merasa sakit

untuk lawan jenis pasti kita berikan mahkota kehormatan
kita sediakan podium ini demi hubungan yang diharapkan takkan terputus
sosok ini akan selalu muncul walaupun dalam keadaan rentan
mencoba membuat jalur yang berkelok ini menjadi lurus

ketika kepala ini menunduk awan-awan di langit tetap berada di atas kita
seolah menertawakan keadaan yang hampir tak bisa diubah
ketika kucoba mengangkat kepala meghilangkan resah itu hanya sugesti semata
matahari tak akan mencoba mengalah melihat keadaan kita

kau tak akan pernah menyangka betapa nikmatnya menangis di tengah hujan
air mata tersamarkan memperlihatkan kita berpura-pura tegar
dan jutaan keping air itulah yang menyambut dan menjadi teman
mendinginkan kepala sekaligus sekali lagi belajar bersabar

sepertinya pekerjaan yang tepat saat ini adalah menunggu
jiwa dan raga ini telah lelah bersahabat denga kata ragu
curiga ini mendampingi walau hanya melihat bayangan masa lalu
teringat ambisi dan rasa optimis terlupakan yang diikrarkan dulu

Tentang Manusia

kita adalah manusia, makhluk yang tak pernah merasakan rasa puas

merengkuh segalanya, dan tak peduli saudaranya sendiri tertindas

pada saat di mana kita telah kehilangan semua yang dimiliki

itulah waktu dimana penyesalan merebut tempat disertai rasa dengki

menjaga sesuatu yang kita miliki adalah cara bersyukur atas karunia

salah bila berpaling pada yang lain dan meninggalkan dengan sia-sia

orang lain tidak sebodoh dan selambat yang kalian kira, kawan

mereka yang tidak kita ketahui asal-usulnya bisa saja tiba-tiba menjadi lawan

saat itu kita hanya dapat memilih antara drama dan kehidupan nyata

hal-hal sepele pun bila dipermasalahkan akan membuat kita buta

apapun yang kita rasakan janganlah berlebihan, secukupnya saja

kuncinya adalah rendah hati, yang membuat pangkatmu itu lebih tinggi dari raja

malas adalah penyakit, peliharalah dan penyakit hati akan muncul sedikit demi sedikit

lengah adalah jebakan, teruslah lakukan dan dirimulah yang akan menjadi korban

emosi itu merupakan benda abstrak yang sangat sulit dikendalikan

kontrol jiwa dibutuhkan di sini, cukup untuk apa yang ingin kita rasakan

harapan merupakan sesuatu yang kecil yang harus kita arahkan

agar menjadi besar dan menjadi sesuatu yang akan kita tunjukkan

Topeng Dan Kostum

kostum yang kupakai setiap hari berwarna gelap

setiap bingkainya pasti berharga diiringi jejak kecil yang diikuti awan

namun janji itu baru bisa kutepati sekarang

meniupkan suara dan menampakkan bayangannya

tersamarkan senyum rindu yang tampak dari belakang

beberapa goresan tinta yang menggambarkan luka

ruang tamu yang menggambarkan kenangan

kolaborasi antara kisah cinta yang rumit dan peka

bukanlah suatu hal yang bisa dianggap ringan

keluarga baru yang kumiliki harus kubanggakan

waktu yang mereka berikan harus kujadikan kesempatan

prinsip baru harus kubangun mulai sekarang

dorongan yang mereka berikan harus kumanfaatkan

lagu yang kunyanyikan di lain hari hanya sebagian

keringat ini tak sebanding dengan jasa mereka

hidup dibalik topeng ini adalah kehormatan

tampak bahagia dari luar, tangisan di dalam,

sesungguhnya bukan itu yang aku suka